Upgrade Your Inner Circle

The Digital Hack to Surrounding Yourself with the Best

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

If you have been reading Seed Scapes, you might remember that quote from Soar Higher. If you’re reading this, you already know that who you surround yourself with matters. Maybe you’ve started making changes—reading, learning, searching for ways to level up. Or maybe you see someone in your life stuck in a cycle they can’t seem to break, and you’re wondering how to help.

Either way, this is for you—or for them. Because let’s be real: most people don’t start out in the perfect environment, and even when they know they need better influences, they hesitate. They freeze. And they stay stuck.

Step One: Make Sure the Problem Isn’t You

Before anything else, let’s address the elephant in the room. If your entire world is full of negativity, toxic people, and dead-end conversations, it’s time for an uncomfortable truth: What if the problem isn’t them? What if it’s you?

Raylan Givens from Justified put it best:

“You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

That’s not meant to be a slap in the face—it’s meant to be a key to freedom. Because if the problem is you, that’s good news. It means you can change. The world isn’t out to get you, and you’re not doomed to bad company. Self-awareness is the first step.

So, do the work. Fix your habits, your energy, your mindset. Because if you don’t, you can swap out your entire friend group and still carry the same issues into a new room.

But if you’ve already taken that step—if you’ve grown, leveled up, and your circle still isn’t where you want it to be—then it’s time for step two.

Step Two: Build Your Virtual Inner Circle

Here’s the truth: you can’t just snap your fingers and summon a high-powered social circle overnight. Even if you did, you wouldn’t fit in yet. Like it or not, the people around you have already shaped you. So before you find better company in real life, upgrade your inputs first.

Start with books.

Read who you want to become. Fiction, nonfiction—it doesn’t matter. The right voices, ideas, and stories rewire your thinking. They shift your perspective. And that’s the foundation for attracting a better circle.

Want something more interactive? Follow the right people online. Read their posts, watch their videos, listen to their podcasts. Not just passively, but with intention. Study how they think. Absorb their problem-solving process. See the world through their lens.

No, engaging with their content won’t make them your new best friend. But that’s not the point. The point is to spend enough time in their world that your thinking starts to shift. And once that happens, something incredible follows:

You’ll start attracting better people in real life, too.

Step Three: Don’t Miss Your Moments

Now, this part is important—because here’s something I’ve seen over and over again, and it drives me nuts.

I’ve been with people at events, at gatherings, at pure happenstance moments where they are face-to-face with someone they admire. A person they’d give anything to learn from. And what do they do? Nothing.

They freeze. They hesitate. They let the moment pass.

Why? Because they don’t want to be awkward? Because they’re afraid of looking dumb? Because they somehow think they need the perfect thing to say before they say anything at all?

That’s insane.

Look, you’re not asking them on a date. You’re not pitching them a business deal. You’re just acknowledging their presence. A simple “Hey, I really appreciate your work. It’s had an impact on me,” is all it takes to open a door. Worst case? They nod and move on. Best case? You make a connection that changes your life.

If you’ve done the work—if you’ve elevated your mind, upgraded your influences, and you find yourself in the right room—you cannot let hesitation steal your moment.

Step Four: Pass It On

If you’ve made it this far, then you’re already ahead of the curve. You’re already taking steps most people never will. Maybe this just reinforced something you already knew, or maybe it gave you the push to go further.

Or maybe, you know someone who needs this. Someone stuck in their own bad environment, unsure of how to break free. If that’s the case, share this with them. Not in a “you need to read this because you suck” way, but in a “hey, I thought you’d find this interesting” way. You never know when the right message will hit at the right time.

And if you take away just one thing, let it be this:

Before you look for better people, become one. Before you change your surroundings, change what surrounds your mind. And when the opportunity comes to meet someone who could change your life—take it.

Your five people are out there. You just have to start listening to them.