Ah, the 1984 Ferrari 308 GTS Quattrovalvole. That car was one of my earliest, most enduring dreams. One of them sold for a hefty US$181,500 years ago at a Bonhams auction, having been used on the set of Magnum P.I. I think my fascination with the Ferrari might have started before I could even drive—or if not, pretty close to it. As time passed, I eventually reached a point where I could actually afford one, but then I started thinking about something else: garage space. Another goal was born—the need to create a space to house my future Ferrari.
Over the years, the specific model I wanted shifted a bit — but there is still something about that original 308, and now the extra garage space is more than ready. Yet, in a moment of clarity, I realized something: it wasn’t really the car I wanted—it was the pursuit of the car.
"There’s nothing more frightening than having a dream come true." — Hernando Fuentes, Sense8
Vishen Lakhiani, who I met at XPRIZE, touches on this same idea in The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed on Your Own Terms, but from a slightly different perspective:
"Modern goal setting, as it’s explained in countless college courses or to high-school kids, is really not about teaching you how to pursue what will really help you lead an extraordinary life. Rather, it’s about teaching you to pursue common Brules of the culturescape — Brules that often lead to your chasing things that you’ll ultimately find do not really matter. It’s about safety rather than about truly living."
Lakhiani uses the term "Brules" as shorthand for "bullshit rules." He suggests that instead of chasing “means goals,” we should be focusing on “end goals.”
"End goals speak to your soul. They bring you joy in and of themselves, not because they confer any outward label, standard, or value attached by society. Nor are end goals undertaken for the purpose of pay or material reward. They are the experiences that create the best memories in our lives."
Lakhiani continues by sharing this thought:
"I love this advice from author Joe Vitale: 'A good goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot.' Scary and exciting are two beautiful feelings that good end goals often bring out. Scary is a good thing because it means you’re pushing your boundaries — that’s how you take steps toward the extraordinary. Excitement signifies that your goal is genuinely close to your heart — not something you’re doing to please someone else or to conform to society’s Brules."
Over time, what began as a material dream—the Ferrari—transformed into something far more profound. It became a symbol of personal growth and freedom. As soon as I recognized this, the image of the Ferrari vanished from my mind, replaced by a deeper joy that comes from continuous self-growth and helping others do the same.
Means goals usually carry an "in order to" behind them. For example: "I need to get this degree, in order to... get this job, in order to... make this amount of money, in order to... afford something else." When you focus on the experience (the ends), the means become flexible. And with flexible means, your mind opens up to new, potentially more fulfilling opportunities. But if you don’t have that flexibility, be cautious about what you wish for—you might just get it.
To paraphrase that line from Sense8: "There’s nothing more frightening than having a means goal come true that is disconnected from your ends goal." When that happens, achievement is often met with emptiness instead of fulfillment.
We all have the freedom to spend our time as we choose. The only real question we need to ask ourselves is whether we're okay with how we're living—or if we’re ready to pursue something more.