Choosing Our Containers

A Lesson in Perspective

I had the privilege of being a part of Joe Polish’s “Genius Network,” often referred to as his $25k Group. There, I had the honor of experiencing the indomitable spirit of Sean Stephenson at various meetings over the years. Sean's presence was magnetic, not because of the rare bone disorder, osteogenesis imperfecta, that he was born with, which stunted his growth and made his bones fragile. Instead, it was his larger-than-life approach to existence that made him stand out, even in a room full of accomplished individuals.

Yet, with all the inspiration he provided, I never approached him for a conversation. I deeply regret not taking a moment to bend down and express my gratitude. Sean left us on August 28th, 2019, before the world underwent significant changes.

Sean once said:

My mom asked me a pivotal question. She said, Sweetie, is this going to be a gift or a burden in your life? You see me, a three-foot-tall man in a wheelchair and you're thinking, How does he have so much confidence? Is it a joke? Is it an act? Is it a fake? No, it's because I believe I chose this container. I believe you wouldn't listen to me the way you do if I looked like you. Do you get that? If I looked like you, you couldn't hear me. If you aren't willing to like your life right now with what you have, no amount of money, happiness, visibility is going to matter.

After his passing, I came across a podcast episode titled "The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling." In episode six, there was an interview with Noah, a 16-year-old female who medically transitioned. Noah went through a careful process with the support of therapists, family, and his own determination that transitioning was right for him. He is the most articulate, careful, moderate, extremely well-informed 16-year-old I have ever heard, and could stand up against many, if not all people, several times his age. Any parent would be proud of this result. Yet Noah states:

"I had a lot of mental issues. Maybe that's not the most delicate way to say that, but I was dealing with a lot of mental struggles as puberty began.”

The heartbreaking moment, however, was a little later when Noah says:

"Transitioning didn't cure any of my disorders, but it made everything so much easier. There was this pit that dragged me down into a place where I felt so hopeless and miserable. Part of my journey with self-mutilation was that I hated my body and wanted to punish it because it was causing me so much pain. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, but I couldn't do that."

This made me ponder: What are we missing? How many young souls are grappling with issues that aren't being addressed at their root?

Sean, with his profound insights, once shared:

Many of you know me, Shawn Stevenson, as a professional speaker, 24 years of speaking. I believe that that is a huge blessing and an honor. While you might know me as a professional speaker, that's not where I'm most proud. It's been fun. I love making you laugh and cry. I love creating magic on stages around the world, but at the end of the day, I'm most proud of being a professional listener.

For the last 18 years, I've been a professional listener. It all started because a young lady in my audience, junior high age, she came up to me, and she rolled her sleeves up, and she had cuts all up and down her arms. She said, Why do I do this to myself, Sean?

At the time, I was a newbie speaker and I had no clue why somebody would harm themselves. I said, Sweetie, I don't know. I'm going to go find out. I went back to school and became a doctor of clinical hypnosis because I wanted to study the unconscious mind. You see, I have a unique form of therapy. I work exclusively with entrepreneurs. I've worked with many of you. I have a full immersion practice where somebody comes sees me for 12 hours in a row because I know how busy you are.

I know that it is not feasible for most of you to cut out a week or an hour a day to keep seeing somebody, but to go deep and really deal with why are you not loving being you? I think the greatest tragedy is when a human doesn't love being them.

One of the things that I really am good at is loving myself. People will come up to me, and they're like, oh, Sean, I'd love to have your confidence. I'd love to have your poise up on stage, Sean. I'd love to be able to sit down and be able to work on a project like you, but listen, none of that matters.

If you don't love yourself, it doesn't matter how much money you have. It doesn't matter how productive you are. It doesn't matter how many people you reach. If you aren't loving being you, you're not playing right.

No, I don’t think Sean would have had the magic wand to solve all the seemingly new issues we face today. I wish I could have heard his opinion on this topic. He would have been more dedicated than anyone else I know to finding answers to problems we are solving at their ends instead of their beginnings.

Sean's absence is deeply felt, akin to the void left by close friends and family who've departed. To delve deeper into his life and legacy, visit Sean Stephenson's website. To commemorate his impact, consider joining the annual tribute at Day of Sean